The Assignment
by Nix-the-Neko
Summary: In which Van forces all his God Generals to read a book that they hate. Except for Dist that is.


(**A.N. **_This is just some random drabble because I've been obsessed with the God Generals lately. I got this boot of inspiration from a friend and just had to write this._)

"Sync, I cannot believe you lost it _again._" The one named Van sighed irately.

"So what? Just stop giving it to me then. Why are we doing this anyways… it's just a waste of time." The masked boy replied in an equally irritated tone.

"You know very well why we're doing this. I do not understand why you can't just sit down and finish it. Dist seems to be enjoying it quite a bit. Why can't you enthusiastic about this like Dist?" Van said slowly, looking down at the scowling youth.

"Is that supposed to make me want to do it?" Sync snapped slightly, extremely pissed off at being asked to behave like Dist in any fashion.

"Even I am doing this as well. We have information that our enemies have been enjoying themselves with this piece of literature, Know thy enemy Sync." Van tried to explain again.

"Enjoying? ! What the hell, are they retarded! ?" Sync exclaimed, never having been more disgusted with Luke and his friends then now.

Van simply shook his head and dropped the somewhat large book into Sync's hands.

"Legretta has reported that Jade the Necromancer was extracting data from this book, he plans on creating some new kind of arte based on the abilities of a creature the resides among the pages of this manuscript. Or that is what his notes said." Van frowned at down at Sync as he continued to explain.

"_He's_ reading this? ! Why and how the hell would he get _anything_ from this! ?" Sync shouted and almost threw the book at his leader.

"Knowledge and inspiration can come from a plethora of sources Sync. Now start reading."

With that said, Van promptly shoved Sync the Tempest out of his office and into the hallway. Sync glared down mutinously at the item in his hands, considering burning it and putting the ashes in Dist's or Van's dinner.

"Where is he getting all these copies anyways…? It's creepy." Sync growled to himself as he stomped down the hallway past a large man who was leaning against the wall with the same book Sync had.

"You should just read it and get it over with." Largo advised as he turned a page, looking completely disinterested in what was on the pages. Sync scowled in response and considered throwing the book at Largo's head.

"Even Asch is reading this. Also, this particular piece of literature has been quite popular in both Kimlasca-Lanvaldear and Malkuth. It has supposedly even been mentioned in the Score" Largo informed absentmindedly, as if the pages were slowly draining away his IQ. Sync could fully believe that they were from the few pages that the Tempest had actually read.

"So we have another good reason for the Score's destruction." A new voice imputed as Sync contemplated something drastic that would most likely result the death of people he didn't like. It wasn't like Sync's less drastic plans didn't end that way, but he was especially unhappy right now and thus, his plan is drastic.

"It would seem so Legretta." Largo responded and turned another page of the cursed literature.

"It's also another reason for _Jade's_ destruction." Sync practically spat the name of the man who created fomicry, and was thus partly responsible for his creation as well as the fact that he was the main reason that they were being ordered to read.

The hallway was filled with silence for a while until the sound of tiny footsteps broke it. No one looked up for they already knew who it was.

"I don't understand this book. Why would a lion fall in love with a lamb?" Arietta asked tentatively and hugged her large stuffed animal close, the cursed book clenched in her hands.

"It's a figure of speech Arietta." Legretta explained in an annoyed tone. Just because she took her work very seriously didn't mean she enjoyed all of it.

"But I—"

"It's just a stupid book, don't even bother reading it if you don't understand." Sync interrupted her and took the book right out of her hands.

"Hey!" Arietta exclaimed as she let go of her stuffy with one of her hands to reach for it. Sync only held the book out of her reach, finally able to take his frustrations out of something, despite however childish it was.

"Sync, you give that back right now." Legretta ordered. The fact that her patience was wearing thin was almost indistinguishable.

"Sync you meanie!" Arietta cried as she flailed her arm, trying to get it back.

During this time, a man with dark red hair that had almost purple tips walked around the corner, holding a book in one of his hands and reading it, yet holding it away as if it would jump out of his grasp and bite his face. On his face was a look of pure disgust.

Hearing the commotion, Asch glanced up, more than happy for a distraction. Seeing the scene before him, he inwardly sighed and turned the other way.

There was absolutely no way the Necromancer had any plan for this whatsoever. It was a farce, it had to be, or at least everyone hoped that it was.

But Legretta claims to have seen Jade reading this atrocious book and jotting down notes, and Legretta is almost never wrong about these sorts of things.

Of course, because of that report, all of the God Generals were reassigned from their prior missions to a single new one. What was their mission? Do research upon whatever Jade the Necromancer had been reading and apparently the best way to do that was to read the work of literature itself.

The various God Generals had different reactions to what had been forced upon that was disguised as a wonderful work of literature. It truly was a test of loyalty.

Sync was taking it the absolute worst. He had already _lost_ over four copies of the book and it didn't look like the fifth was going to last much longer. Sync had taken to becoming even angrier with the world then was previously thought. During one of the hours when the cafeteria was actually open, almost all of the soldiers complained that the food tasted funny. The hard cover front of the book was discovered later at the bottom of the stew pot.

Dist was absolutely over joyed at the choice in book. He claimed that Van has finally come to appreciate the more beautiful things in life, such as 'the finest of the fiction novels.' Dist was often talking about it to whatever unfortunate soul was in the room with him. At one point, Legretta even had to order him to shut up and point one of her guns in his face before he got the message. It was almost a relief to hear him ranting about his revenge journal again.

Legretta was more or less unaffected by the task of reading other than she had no patience for those who spoke of it. Hearing Dist's long rants about it took its toll on her nerves and when she had pointed her guns at the man, she had been seconds away from pulling the trigger. There was only so much stupidity she could take.

Largo seemed to be taking it the best. He didn't show any sign of rage at what he was being forced to do like Sync, nor did he become a little more short-tempered like Legretta. He was often found just sitting down or leaning against something and reading the piece of trash. The majority of the God Generals believed that he simply wished to finish it as quickly as he could.

Arietta could read the book fine, it was not a difficult piece of work, but the real problem was her understanding of it. Almost half of the things that occurred she had to ask about. She couldn't seem to understand how some things were just a figure of speech. What she thought about the book was unknown.

Asch had simply taken to becoming more withdrawn than usual. Just because Van thought he was obediently reading didn't mean that he actually was. Unfortunately, to hold up his front, he actually was reading it. And he was regretting every moment of it. Damn that Necromancer. Asch could forgive him for creating fomicry, but forcing this trash upon him was unforgivable.

Nobody knew how Van was taking the mission that he had assigned himself. Not even Sync, who was in his office often enough because he had _misplaced_ his copy. Van didn't respond to Dist's rants at all except to ask if he knew of a way that Jade could use it against them.

When asked this, Dist would just chuckle and say something along the lines of 'maybe against all of you, but never against my beautiful, graceful self!'

It really was getting quite old, but the God Generals simply had to suffer through this lapse in the sanity of their leader.

* * *

><p>After a while, Arietta had finally reclaimed her book and left in a large huff. Sync was feeling a tiny bit better and Legretta had obtained a large headache. Largo simply turned the page of his book, he was almost done with it.<p>

"I have been thinking," Largo started to say as he glanced up to survey whoever was there at the current moment, "if Jade really could harness the power of—"

"Shut up! Just shut up Largo I don't want to hear it! I don't want to hear anything about this piece of shit! I don't care!" Sync interrupted him, spinning around as his mood was ruined again to glare at the lion-like man.

"That is why we are reading it. So we can be prepared…" Legretta said in her usual monotone as she started to walk away. She had only gotten a few steps when a familiar voice that made almost everyone present wince called out.

"Soooo! How far have you three gotten? Surely you must have finished by now! Of course, I could never expect one to be on the same level of understanding this piece of art as my own brilliant and elegant mind!"

Yes.

Dist was now in the hallway with them.

Sync suddenly received the most powerful urge to wring the neck of the clearly insane man. Don't get it wrong, he always had that urge, it was just stronger now. And Sync wasn't sure if he could or would resist it this time.

Largo idly turned the page, feeling that the scientist was not currently worth his time. Legretta braced herself for another one of Dist's rants.

"The plot line certainly is compelling isn't it? With an elegant heroine and a dashing man to meet her standards, I'd not be surprised if he were based off my wonderful and more beautiful self. After all, I am quite radiant and glowing. Women can't seem to help themselves, they know that they could never quite reach the same level that I'm on, and they long. They long for me, for Dist the Rose! But I cannot answer their call! I—"

Dist's rant was abruptly ended as the blunt end of a scythe slammed into the side of his chair and sent him flying, spinning, and screaming through a wall.

Sync, who had been about to jump and perform a roundhouse kick on the floating chair, and Legretta, who had just been about to shoot an explosive part of the chair, slowly looked at the large man who held his hulking weapon with one hand, the book balanced in the other.

Not looking up, Largo put his weapon down and simply said.

"I can only take so much description within the book. I do not want to see anyone else talk like this book is written."

* * *

><p>Jade Curtiss looked around his hotel room and when he was certain that nobody was watching him. He carefully took out the black book with a single red apple that was held by a pale hand on the cover and placed it on the counter top. Jade also moved the papers that had nonsense spell words and various false symbols scribbled on them.<p>

He let out a low chuckle as he flipped open the book. He had asked a very specific question to Asch during his latest battle with Luke. And the reaction Asch had responded with after Jade had asked made him sure that his plan had worked. After a few seconds to remind himself of how ridiculous the whole idea had been, yet how it had most certainly worked, Jade closed and picked the book up.

He left his hotel room and walked past a few of the other rooms. When he reached his destination he simply knocked four times, paused, then knocked another four times.

A man with messy blonde hair who was blinking from just been woken up answered the door.

"My, my, Guy, how unprofessional of a servant to leave his master unguarded during the night, are you certain that you do not still have a grudge?" Jade teased slightly with a small smirk.

The man named Guy simply shook his head and stood straighter, the sleepiness leaving his eyes.

"Okay, okay, I'm up. You need something Jade?" Guy leaned against the door frame with a small look of amusement defining his features.

"You are aware that you owe me six hundred Gald, correct?" Jade smirked as he adjusted his now opaque glasses to their usual position.

"Huh?" Guy said with a confused look and tone. Jade just smirked a bit wider as it slowly dawned on Guy what he had done.

"No way! ? How did you? !" Guy shouted in surprise, earning a loud moan from Luke telling him to shut up.

Jade simply held out his hand for Guy to deposit the Gald in, which he grudging did.

"Seriously Jade, you really are a villain," Guy grumbled, "I can't believe you tricked the God Generals into reading _Twilight._"

(**A.N.**_ Okay. I'll admit that I had way too much fun writing this. This is a crack-fic and in no way meant to be taken seriously. Also, I do not mean to offend anyone who likes Twilight, I just think that this is how the various members of the God Generals would respond to it._)


End file.
